Love Languages and Loud Chewers!

In this episode of Brains Gone Bold, Maria and Jeanine start with a simple breakfast question, should couples sit on the same side of the booth, and somehow end up talking about pet peeves, table manners, dating dealbreakers, love languages, and why water flossing apparently matters a lot more than most people think.

Jeanine is firmly on team “sit across from me so I can see your face,” while Maria makes the case for closeness, hand-holding, and maybe not needing a full-on staring contest over breakfast. From there, the conversation takes a hilarious turn into chewing with your mouth open, bad restaurant chairs, turn signals, gross eating habits, and the very real possibility that some habits might be enough to end a relationship.

One of the funniest parts is Jeanine’s dead-serious rule: “If you want to put your tongue in my mouth, you need to water floss.” Honestly, that sets the tone.

But underneath all the laughs, there’s something real here too. Maria and Jeanine talk about how the little things that bother us can reveal bigger things about how we connect, what makes us feel close, and what we actually value in relationships.

It’s funny, oddly deep, and very them.

Come for the booth debate. Stay for the judgments. You’ll definitely have opinions on this one.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome, The Brain's Gotten Bold. We are happy to have you here with us as always. Welcome, Janine.

SPEAKER_01 0:09

Thanks, Maria. Welcome to you. I have this. So just to let people peek behind the curtain, when we start recording, we do this little clap to let our producer know that we're ready. And every single time, either I laugh, I don't know why it's so funny to me. I think I think of clap on. Yeah. That's one of them. But then the other thing is I always think, here we go. And it takes everything, every part of my being to not say it out loud. Maybe I think we should start doing that. Next time I want to hear that. I think I'll start laughing and I feel like it gets you riled up. It does. I mean, it really does. Yeah. The other thing is, we don't both have to clap. Even though we both do. Like if I clap, you have to clap. Like it's you're like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory. You have to finish.

SPEAKER_02 0:56

But your claps are so light. Oh my God. I feel like he cannot hear you.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

He hears it. He hears it. I didn't know that that was the problem. I will do a louder clap so that you don't feel like you have to clap too. But it's so good, like clap and then you're like reinforcement. Now I know. Good to know. Good to know.

SPEAKER_02 1:28

Okay. Anyway. Anyway, we're going to go in a lot of directions today. I think we don't really have a specific plan for this episode. We don't. We just feel like we're just going to sit and have a conversation today. Yes. Yes. One of the things that we that we talked about earlier today. So we went and grabbed breakfast before we came to the studio. Asai bowls for the wind. Oh, so good. So good. So good. Yes. I'd like to believe good for you too, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:59

I agree with you. I think there's probably a decent amount of sugar in those bowls. Oh, for sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:04

For sure. The honey, the peanut butter, the granola. The fruit. Even the fruit. I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

It's healthy. It's healthy sugar. Let's call it that.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

Sure. Anyway, it's good nonetheless. So delicious, though.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

I know. Anyway, um. So the place that we went to was one of those that has the half booths, I'll call it, where each table has a chair. Very uncomfortable chair. Very uncomfortable chair. I don't understand. I cannot stand those chairs. Why do places have such uncomfortable seats? I'm gonna assume it's cost. I that's the only thing I can assume.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

And if a person with a bigger body, it's much more expensive. I every restaurant that I walk into, I try to identify a comfortable or the most comfortable to cover both of my cheeks.

SPEAKER_02 2:58

I'm serious. I mean, but those ones in particular, it's those metal ones.

SPEAKER_01 3:05

Little stark metal chairs. But I do think they're inexpensive. And so that's why I think some restaurants changes the whole experience. It does. Oh, I agree.

SPEAKER_02 3:13

I don't want to eat there because it's not comfortable, or I position myself on the bench. Yeah. So I will also say, not a huge fan of a half booth because myself and a lot of people that I go out to eat with both have a very high preference for sitting in a booth. Yeah. So then you go and it's like, oh, who gets the booth? And then you have to kind of do this weird dance of who gets the booth?

SPEAKER_01 3:38

We both really want it. Well, it's because you know them well enough. Yeah. Otherwise, there's that polite dance of, no, you take it. That's fine. Oh, it's fine. Exactly. No, you take it. No, you take it. But you don't mean it because you really want it. Of course not.

SPEAKER_02 3:51

So this is a PSA to any restaurant. No more half booths, please.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

No more half booths and no more terrible chairs. Yes. Please. Yes. Yes. Spring for the good chairs. Yes. So anyway, we Although maybe that's because they want to get them out of there sooner. They don't want you lingering. And so if you're in an uncomfortable chair, you'll eat. Get the hell out.

SPEAKER_02 4:14

Valid, maybe. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, this morning at this location, there was only one other customer in the whole place. It was just the two of us. So I kind of, while you were ordering, I thought to myself, man, I think we both want to sit on the booth side because we've been here before. I knew you liked. Yeah. And so I took a risk and I sat on a booth side wondering if you would be comfortable also sitting on the booth side because there are multiple tables. Yeah, there's about what six tables in there? Yes, with multiple two-person tables, and you know the drill. And I did wrestle with that for a moment because I'm like, I don't know how she's gonna feel about this.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

And so I'll tell you from my perspective, when I first turned around and saw you were in the booth, I was like, shit. And then I was like, I'm gonna sit on the booth side too. Nice. But when I walked over, I did have that hesitation where to which thankfully you said you can sit on the same side if you want. Yeah. I was like, Are you are you okay sitting here next to me? And I was like, Yeah. Because it was also the side that the sun was coming in on, and because you're going back to a cold place, and we're here in Florida right now. Don't make that face at me. Um, it's nice to soak up the sun wherever you can. Indeed. Indeed. Yes, yes. Not only you're going back to a cold place, it tends to be gloomy. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_02 5:38

Janine, you have no idea what I'm feeling about that right now. All right, let's not talk about it. Let's not talk about it. Just for context, for context, anyone listening, we currently are in Jacksonville, Florida. I came here yesterday, right? Day before. I came here the day before yesterday. I am leaving today. Today it is 66 degrees. Or will be. Or will be and sunny. Sunny, beautiful, not a cloud in the sky. I am going back to a place that has approximately 15 inches of snow on the ground, and this morning was negative nine degrees. Uh as a a very different experience. As a and the sun doesn't shine for the next few months. So it's a very different lived experience, especially for a summer baby and a person who needs that. So I am genuinely not looking forward to going home. I'm just sorry about your luck. Yeah. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

So anyway, so we started with the same side because the sun was streaming in, it was bench side, and it didn't feel terrible. Like I wasn't whatever, but it did prompt the conversation of when you're with your partner and you go into a restaurant and it's just the two of you and it's a booth. Do you sit on the same side or do you sit on opposite sides? And Maria said same side.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

Now, I will say not always, but I lean.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

What leans when you do lean towards sitting on the same side? Is there something in your mind or you're feeling super lovey-dovey that day? Or is it just like, God, that's just how I feel? But it yeah, I'll just stuff.

SPEAKER_02 7:16

I think so. As we were talking about this this morning, what I realized is so I'm gonna still your thunder for a second because you were saying to me that you hate that. Hate it because you like being able to face the person that you're having a conversation with. Uh, and I can understand that. For me, the sitting next to my person is about just physically being close and being able to hold hands or, you know, have your hand on the on their leg or, you know, whatever that looks like.

SPEAKER_01 7:47

So the physical intimacy is important. Me, it's the eye contact. It's to me, that's intimacy. You know, and I don't like being touched.

SPEAKER_03 7:57

So that's true.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

Come on, we're eating. Come on.

SPEAKER_02 8:03

Get away from me.

SPEAKER_01 8:04

No, I'm just kidding. But I'm actually I'm not. But I also went so far as to say is when I'm in a restaurant and I see couples sitting on the same side and there's nobody on the other side. I'm like, what are you doing? Yeah, come on. Get on your own side. We see you. You're together. We get it. Like, I honestly go through all of that. I just like the experience of, I mean, even in the studio, yeah. Sitting across from you and being able to look at you in the eye instead of this, you know, kaka mami, like whatever, or have you next to me. It's the same thing. Like, to me, it's not the same. I want to talk to you. I don't want to talk to a camera. I don't want to talk to whatever. I'm gonna talk to you. So let me uh I'm gonna open a can of worms here.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

Do it. Open it. So for couples who let's pretend that it was an older couple that you saw sitting next to one another who have been together. How old? I don't know. Whatever your definition of old is, I guess. Changes, right?

SPEAKER_01 9:07

I will, yeah, it does change. It's pretty, pretty funny how that changes, but yes, it does change.

SPEAKER_02 9:12

I know. Um, who have been together forever, right? They're not necessarily on one of their first dates. They're not courting each other, so to speak. Not keeping company, as my dad's. They're not keeping, yeah, they're not keeping company. They may not have much to talk about. They just are there to have a meal. So why sit together? Well, because they love one another and they want to be close to each other. So, so for you, I just think, you know, I just want to challenge you in the sense that maybe they are there for a different purpose than you might be. You might be there for the conversation. Maybe they're maybe they're there for different spellings of there, by the way.

SPEAKER_00 9:57

We're drinking it. They are there. Got it. Maybe they are there, got it.

SPEAKER_02 10:02

Um or a meal, you know, or to celebrate something that they don't necessarily have a lot to talk about.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

I I'm gonna repeat something my sister said to you yesterday, which was don't argue with her. You don't have a rebuttal, do you? I do. And I have like, but it's just an opinion. Like there's no whatever. I mean, obviously there's no real answer to this. Yeah, but I started thinking about okay, in your scenario, first of all, I wouldn't know that they like they could have been, it could have been their first date, even though they're old as hell. Yeah. Like it could have been whatever. So I I don't like typically go through the backstory of people. The only thing is you're sitting together when there's a perfectly good other side of the bench. And so if they're there for food because they don't have much to say to each other, then sit on the other side of the bench. Like you're there for food. If you're there because you're celebrating something, then why wouldn't you want to look at them? Like to me, there's no reason. Okay. Unless there's other people that are gonna be sitting on their. And I'll go one further. If they're going to sit on the same side of the bench, I want them to face the wall. Don't face me. Oh face the direction of nobody's there looking for you. I don't want to look at you eat. Face the wall. Jeez, I think we just hit it. Nerve. Have you ever been across from somebody who's a disgusting eater? Right? I mean, I know that we both have had situations over our years. Over our years, I'll just say that. Yeah. But anyway, I'm not gonna go there yet, maybe. But I just I don't know what it is about it that there's just something when people sit together on the same side of the bench. I don't know why. I just don't like it. All right. Um right. It's okay. It's your judgment. You can absolutely. And it's probably, you know, there's a million people going, oh my God, that's terrible. Okay. That's terrible. I'm a terrible human.

SPEAKER_02 11:57

Don't worry, there have been plenty of times where I've been a terrible human. So we're all we're even.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

So onto that terrible eater thing. I have been across the table from people who, you know, talk when they eat, show you their food. I mean, I'm sure we all have. And I think about when I was a kid growing up, manners for my father were such a big deal. Not as much my mother, but I think it was more because my father took care of it. But there would be times where we would slump or put our elbow on the table. My father, he was a big man. He was six four. Oh. And and he was he was a strong man. It was a physical, he physical labor. And so he just was strong. He would knock your elbow off the table.

SPEAKER_02 12:47

You know, you'd fall down as much.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

Or shove your shoulders back. Sit up straight. Yeah, it was very important to him that my sister and I were proper ladies. And so, not as much as like the etiquette of forks and spoons and stuff like that, because I don't think he knew himself, but there were things about how we showed up in the world with our shoulders back, our elbows off the table, our hands in our laps, a napkin on the lap, that kind of thing that were just super important to him. And at the time, I don't think I recognized eat with your mouth closed, don't chew and speak at the same time. All of it. It was a constant like I don't remember a dinner table meal that we weren't being reminded about something, you know, close your mouth, don't talk, wait until you finish chewing. And then you go into the real world with people who did not come up in the same way. And you see the, you know, people hunched over their food and not because they have back problems, right? Or the ones, I don't, oh, so what are you gonna what are you gonna do today? Like, oh no. And you realize to me how important it is, but to them it's not, it's not a big deal, but it's still gross.

SPEAKER_02 14:00

For me, it's chewing with the mouth open. It I don't want to see your food. It kind of infuriates me. Oh, okay. And that's a big word to use, but yeah. It is, and yeah, it's it's kind of it grosses me out. There's absolutely there are very few reasons that you should be regularly chewing with your mouth open. Okay. Yeah. Give me one. I'm just curious. Maybe you've had dental work that makes it difficult for you to close your mouth all the way. Okay. So rare situation. Maybe you can't breathe out of your nose. Maybe you can't, yeah. You've really sick and yeah, fine. Okay. But for that, don't go in public. I'm not even talking about public though. I'm just across a dinner table.

SPEAKER_01 14:52

I don't want to be sitting at my table and hear you chewing. If you would you say that, like say your significant other, your son, whoever, like, and how would you say it? So it's me. Stop chewing with your mouth open.

SPEAKER_02 15:08

Okay. Why were you not expecting that directly?

SPEAKER_01 15:12

I mean, how else do you approach? So what if you're having a dinner party and you've got, you know, people that you're you're friendly with, but this is really your first time that you are eating with them. So these people come into your home and you're at the dinner table, and this woman like takes a bite. Maria, what did you put in here? This is really yummy. What would you say anything? What's going on with your face? And I don't know where that accent's coming from either. I don't have any food to put in here, so I've forgotten how to eat. How do people do with your what is it you do with your back when you're chewing? I've just forgotten. Seriously. I don't remember the mechanics of how you chew shit.

SPEAKER_02 16:13

Okay. Would I say anything in that situation? No, but I would be silently judging. Yeah. Yeah. It would be I wouldn't think I would say it would be there. Yeah. Like it would overtake my awareness in a way that I wouldn't be able to be fully present in the conversation because I'd be so focused on the fact that she is doing that.

SPEAKER_01 16:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

I I think I agree with you. I don't think I would say anything. Yeah. I would have to know somebody really well to be like, dude, like, what are you doing there? Close your mouth. I don't want to see your food. There have been people that I've said that that I don't know very well. And it's also because I don't necessarily care about them as much. Yeah. And so I don't want to see your food. Instead of chew with your like, I'm not giving them instruction, just I don't want to see your food. Or remember the say it, don't spray it. Yeah. Yeah. I have not thought about so long. Yes. You know, maybe there's an a more adult version of that or something to say. But I do then become so fixated on that. And even if somebody else was talking to me, I'd be like, Yeah. Yeah. I can't play poker because I truthfully do not have a poker face. Yeah. If I'm thinking it, more than likely it's on my face. So that would be tough. Would you invite her back to your home or go out and have another meal with her?

SPEAKER_02 17:40

So it's a person you really like. That is a tough one. I might try to just have coffee with her or something. No food involved next time. She's gonna order a cookie.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

And then there's like a muffin. There's more. There's a comedian, um, Sebastian Menascalco, and he does this whole routine of what's with the people who like get a cookie or a bag and then they eat from the bag instead of like, what are you, an animal? And I think about stuff like that. When I see people do it, and and by the way, I've done that. Like I have too. So I'm not judging that, but just the what are you, an animal? Like, there are times that I have wanted to say that to people. Yes. Yeah. Because you can't even fathom that they think that this is an okay thing.

SPEAKER_02 18:31

Well, and going back to um your point of being raised in a way that taught you not to do these things, I struggle with even believing that it's all about how you were raised. To me, that's just common human decency and adult manners. So how do you not pick up on that? Right. When you see everybody else around you, even if you weren't taught it as a child, how do you not pick up on that in adulthood that the chewing like that is unacceptable? Yeah. You know what I mean? And if you have picked up on it, you just don't care.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

Or maybe they genuinely have a problem. Maybe an adenoid issue or whatever. But I always think about don't they have anybody in their life that loves them? Not to tell them, like, dude, that's not how people do that. Like, you shoot, you shoot with your mouth closed. Yeah. I really do think that all the time. And I think I tell you that story about there was a person in my life that would draw their eyebrows on in a really weird way. And in an unattractively weird way. Unattractive to me, but most people. Unattractive most people as well. And I remember saying to my niece, I just, I feel like there's nobody in her life that loves her enough to tell her that's not okay. And I also think, does she not have a mirror? Has she never seen other people in life? Right. Like I go through that whole thing. And listen, I know I'm not a beauty queen. I'm not, you know, saying that I am, but I don't try to go out of my way to do weird things. Anyway, my niece, in her very sweet and kind way, said she might like it that way. Haw. She might. Yeah. Okay. No, I feel like an ass. Right. I feel like it's an ass now. But yeah, you're right. And I think she was like 15 when we had this conversation. But to your point as far as food and chewing, that's a manner. That's not like uh I like my hair blue or green or short or long. Right. It's uh it's mannerism. And it's also unsanitary. I don't want to have your food on my face. Right? Like, ew, and god forbid, a little in my mouth. Yeah. Right? Somebody's talking to you. Because I have eaten with people that it is a very distinct possibility with their food flying around that it could land somewhere in my vicinity. Yes. Yes. I wouldn't date anybody if I had dinner with them and then that happened. It just would be really tough.

SPEAKER_02 20:59

So, what would you do if you had started dating someone and you went to a restaurant and you sat down and they sat next to you? Would that be a deal breaker?

SPEAKER_01 21:08

I actually would say something about that. I would say, I would love it if you sat across from me so we could see each other when we were eating.

SPEAKER_02 21:14

Oh, that's so good.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

Yeah, I would definitely because I I would genuinely mean it. Yeah. So if somebody had gone out with a few times and he slid in as much as like, oh, I'd rather you sit there. And and I genuinely warmly mean that. Yes. And so yes. Okay. Okay. I wouldn't like approach strangers and go, get on different sides of the booth. But yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There are things, it's funny because when you ask about like somebody dating, there are things that in my mind I feel like would be deal breakers. Not water flossing. I know. Yes. Water flossing.

SPEAKER_02 21:51

And bad driving. We need to stay there for a moment, please.

SPEAKER_01 21:54

Okay. Specifically. Specifically water flossing. Okay. Yes. You have to waterflossing. Water floss. Yes. If you want to put your tongue in my mouth, you need to water floss. Mm-hmm. Anything more we need to say about that? You can start water flossing. It is not that hard.

SPEAKER_02 22:18

So do you have that? I know you have dating profiles out there. Do you have that on your dating profile? I don't.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

In order to be eligible, you must water floss. And let's be clear. When you say I know you have dating profiles out there, I do not. I did, but I do not. You stop. I stopped. Aw, I'm sorry. Don't be sorry. It's fine. I'm much more peaceful now. I did. You're right across from me.

SPEAKER_02 22:43

Yeah. I don't water floss though, so I'm not a match. I do floss every single day, but not water floss. Yeah. So I need to understand that better.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

We should probably talk about that in a different way, because I just feel like there are a lot of gross things in her mouth. Regular flossing doesn't quite get there, and brushing your teeth do not does not either. And I don't care. I've had many people tell me, oh, I've got that like those toothbrushes that do the stuff. It's it does not get in between your teeth the way you think it does. It doesn't, it just doesn't. It just doesn't. And so yeah, no.

SPEAKER_02 23:22

So uh the water flossing though, for me, uh is messy. It can be.

SPEAKER_01 23:28

Clean up after yourself. Yeah, I don't I don't have the patience for that. Yeah. No. Um I would love to do an experiment with you one time then. Okay. And brush your teeth, do your regular floss, and then uh water floss. Okay. And when you see what comes out, you will never not water floss. I mean, I'm not a dentist, nor do I play one on TV, but I am a strong advocate for water flossing. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 23:55

Okay. I was not expecting that to be on you on your list. That was it. That was a curved ball. Yeah. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 24:02

What else? Steel breakers. Driving, not using your blinkers.

unknown 24:06

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 24:08

You heard me, not using your blinkers. And driving in the left lane. Why do you need to drive in the left lane? Get over. Pass somebody, get over. If you're going to pass somebody, use your blinker, get over. You're gonna turn, use your blinker.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

I just want a little bit of clarity here. These are deal breakers. Yes, you heard me.

SPEAKER_01 24:26

Deal breakers. Because just think about this. When we were talking about the person eating and doing this stuff and you'd be fixated on it, I would fixate on it. I would sit in the seat and constantly be like, use your blinker, use your blinker, get over, get over. Why are you gonna? And it would just drive us both insane. Yes. And so if it's not something, you know, I will never get used to not using it. I will never get used to not. And so, yes, it is a deal breaker.

SPEAKER_02 24:51

And it might make me crazy, and I'm okay. That is okay because I feel like it's healthy to know your boundaries. You know, I think so often early in life, we go into dating relationships and we think we bend. Yeah, we think, oh, that's annoying, but you know, I'll deal with it or whatever. And then it becomes this huge focus because you can't get over it. It's something that's important to you.

SPEAKER_01 25:14

And I already know enough that I won't get over that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:17

And that's good awareness to have.

SPEAKER_01 25:18

Thanks. I love the positive space. I'm not gonna waste anyone's time. I'm not gonna waste anybody's time. The interesting thing is I think it does take a minute to figure some of that out. Like exactly usually when you're dating somebody, you meet places at first. You're not in the car at the first time. Same thing. And so I do ask people. I do ask people. I mean, it takes a while, but I'll hate to when you if you are in a car and you are moving from this lane to that lane, what do you do? And do you think that they I mean, aren't they gonna tell you the right answer? Some people think about it. Okay. And they're like, what do you mean, what do I do? Like, do you use your signal? Uh, not always. Or yeah, I always use my signal. Like, yeah, I hate what people don't. And it starts with like a conversation or whatever. But um, yeah, I think it's a safety thing too.

SPEAKER_02 26:10

It's a safety thing. And I don't know if I would go quite this far, but it does feel like a laziness thing.

SPEAKER_01 26:17

Not using your signal. Yeah, because it takes no effort whatever. So easy. Right. Now, if they're missing a hand, I may make an exception. If they're missing specifically their signaling hand. Well, so when I first started to learn how to drive, there was a thing on both sides. Oh, really? Yes. And there are some cars that have it in their steering wheel, their thumbs. The turn signal? Yes. Yeah, it's literally a I have not seen those cars. That's interesting. I'm trying to think if I can think of a brand. Huh. Because I've driven one like as a rental for different things. And so in your thumb. But yeah, when I first learned how to drive, they were on both sides. There were sticks on both sides.

SPEAKER_02 27:05

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 27:06

Interesting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 27:08

So is that your list? It's the ones I can think of right now. Right. But if I can only pick one, the water floss or the turn signals, I would 100% pick the water floss and then I would drive everywhere. I would always be the D-Day. Always. I get car sick. Right. Right. I mean, I yeah.

unknown 27:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 27:34

I'm learning so much about you. I honestly I can't think of it. I mean, this all started. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

I would say the genuine stuff about like being kind to people and, you know, not being a jerk and whatever.

SPEAKER_02 27:47

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think this all started. We're talking about pet peeves, really, is what we're talking about. And this all started because I invited you to sit next to me in the booth. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 28:00

And I felt like we had talked about the booth thing another time. We had. But maybe, you know, not at length. Because it's a genuine curiosity for me, like why people sit on the same side. And I think I mentioned to you that my mom and dad, you know, did a lot. And my dad would always want me to sit on the same side of the booth the same when it was just her. And now as an adult, I wish I had more because I do think it's very, very sweet. Yeah. But um, it's the romantic couple thing that I just think is weird.

SPEAKER_02 28:28

Maybe their love language, are you familiar with those five love languages? Maybe their love language is a critical touch. And they want to be near each other as much as they can. And isn't that sweet?

SPEAKER_01 28:40

Mm-hmm. Because it's not mine, which is why What is yours, do you know? Words of affirmation.

SPEAKER_02 28:48

Oh. Well, okay. Well? Well, no, I'm interested. So did you have one for me? No, I'm interested. You are so smart and beautiful and kind and witty and funny. I know.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

Keep and no, I'm just kidding. So the other day I went for physical therapy and my doctor said something like, This, I'm gonna do this complimentary, uh, this is a complimentary treatment. And I went, Oh, so you're gonna say nice things to me while you're doing it. And she honestly did, which was the cutest thing. But at first I didn't know what the hell she was doing. Because as she's like manipulating my arm and elbow, she's going, You are a very nice person, I can tell. Just do this first meeting. And because, like I said, she's manipulating, she's doing all this to my arm. And she said, You're a very nice person. And I was like, Oh, thank you. And she went, and you're also attractive. She goes, I'm giving you a complimentary. Did you want to tell her to stop? I just went, Oh, okay, that's great. I didn't like clap, obviously.

unknown 29:59

But it was just so funny.

SPEAKER_01 30:01

Because I really, I did not she was quicker than me for sure.

SPEAKER_02 30:08

Oh my gosh, oh yes. I'm sorry, words of affirmation. Oh my gosh, yes, yes. No, the reason I had that reaction was because I was curious if there's a tie-in between the fact that words of affirmation is your love language and the fact that you want to have that conversation piece. I don't know if that's really the same thing, but yeah, I think it's related.

SPEAKER_01 30:28

It is related. And I mean, I say it all the time about like words are important. So it's not just the meaning. I think it's what you say. Yeah. And it's how you say, and it's your delivery, it's all of the stuff. And so those cues are so important to me. And I want to hear nice things.

SPEAKER_02 30:45

And so yours is physical touch then? No. What is yours? No, it isn't. Um, I'm pretty cl I'm pretty close with uh acts of service and quality time.

SPEAKER_00 30:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 30:59

So uh yes. Physical touch is one of my lowest ones, along with gifts, uh giving and receiving gifts, I think is is yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:10

I yeah, physical touch is definitely my lowest. I think the other three are kind of grouped um in there, but words of affirmation by far is my a jam.

SPEAKER_02 31:21

A jam. I have to have to give you some more complimentary.

SPEAKER_01 31:25

Yes, please. When the kids uh say things like, Hey, I I just don't have a lot of money for Christmas this year and gifts. I they will tell you the first thing and the only thing I ever ask for is I want a written note. Yeah. I want them to write me a note. Yeah. Like, oh come on. I'm like, I'm serious, I want a card with something nice. And my nephew this year God bless him. He uh took that as something personal that he created for me. Yeah, not a written note. And so he used Chat GPT, he took a picture that he and I took at a wedding last year, and he had Chat GPT make it into a sketch of us. Okay, which in theory sounds amazing. And it was like a pen and ink. So it wasn't collar, it was just pen and ink. It was the most hideous thing. The funniest thing is he put it in a like a plastic like plexi frame and he gave it to me for Christmas. But before he gave it to me, he said, Antonine, I want to tell you a story about this, but I I want to give because it's you know, you told us to make something for you. I was like, I didn't say that, but okay. So he gives me the thing and I I just burst out number one. I almost thought that he drew it. And so I was like, oh God, if he drew this and I am laughing, but I could not stop laughing. It had like, you know, so we have lines and all this stuff. It honestly accentuated every single line, every single puff. And because it was a sketch, it would have like two lines. Right. Oh my, it was so, but even his, like he looked like he had bucked teeth. Like it was just, and it was such a great picture, too. I knew exactly which anyway. He went, so I had Chat GPT, like put the sketch together, and I thought, you know, he said, I actually was trying to maybe make it into a puzzle and whatever. He said, but this is where I land, oops, this is where I landed. Yeah. And I was like, honey, I hate it so much. And he was like, I know. And so I put it in my office and I had it like in my office for a while, and he was home from school. And then finally I just said, Are you okay with me throwing this away? He was like, Oh yeah. But I really did want a written card. I wanted his words to me telling about like I just love you so much. You're just the best day and like that kind of stuff. And I got that. Yeah. That abomination. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 33:59

I will tell you though, as you're saying that, it makes sense because I remember when we worked together. I actually saved. You had written me a couple different notes as a show of support for different things that we were going through at work. And it was so meaningful to me. Oh, I'm bad. And to be, I actually came across one of them the other day uh randomly and I was like, oh, I'm gonna, I'm still gonna keep this because it just meant so much. So I think that's a gift that you have because it's your love language. Yeah. So it's important to me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:36

And so you're right. I do force it on others. Tell me what I want to hear. Yes. I'm doing this for you. Doesn't it make you want to do something for me? Right. Right. Yes. My girlfriend is a gift giver. Like she is. And so I automatically assume that because she's a gift giver, that she wants gifts, and that is not the case. Oh. She just loves the act of giving, especially in her mind, the perfect gift. And so maybe six years ago, I mentioned something about this ring that I like, well, it'll show up in six years. Yeah. And she's kept it in her brain all that time, which I think is such a such a treasure. Oh, yeah. It's very thoughtful. But she's like, please don't. I honestly, it makes her uncomfortable when you get her gifts. Yeah. She is also words of affirmation, and she is a quality time. And so the two of those things together, spending time with her is so much more important than any gift you could potentially get her. So knowing those things, I love that whole um five love language thing. I do think it's really important. And when you can figure out what somebody else's is and then speak to them with that language, oh, what a nice thing to be able to do.

SPEAKER_02 35:50

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 35:52

Yeah. If you can stay aware of it. Well, that's, I mean, that is really important. Yeah. I mean, we get so lost in life every single day. I know that keeping track of also, okay. So Maria's love language is this. Or, you know, whatever it is. And you've mentioned that you like this thing. I mean, I try to remember those little details. You had told me some one time about um some a gift that you had received, and then it either went missing or broke. And so I saw something similar and just was like, I I think that's important, those kind of connections and doing those things for people. And so I try to, like, I want to be thoughtful. I'm not always thoughtful. As you all know, I can be pretty, yeah, um, sometimes pretty ruthless and judgmental and this. No, but I want to balance it with this nicer side. Yeah. Yeah. I think I told you one time I had this woman that I worked with like 30 years ago, and she was from the UK. And I would tell her some really terrible stories. Of course, I was in my, you know, 20s, and so the way I saw the world was skewed. And I think she was probably in her 30s or 40s at the time. So I'd tell her these stories. But then I would also tell her that I was watching Touched by an Angel, and it just made me really cry. And I just remember one day her coming in and going, You are such an enigma. And I was like, What do you mean? She goes, You are harsh and critical and ruthless, but you're also soft and tender, and you cry at touched by an angel. Yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 37:21

And I was like, okay, I'll take that. I'll take the enigma. Which is actually interesting because that's another thing that we've talked about, which is can two things be true at once? Yes, right. I think that's maybe for a future discussion. But yeah. Yeah, I agree that's a good conversation.

SPEAKER_01 37:38

Because I mean, spoiler alert, yes, I think that's true. Not in everything, though. I do think at some point you have to pick. But anyway, we'll we'll save that for a future episode.

SPEAKER_02 37:49

All right. All right. So we're gonna wrap this one up, which was about a little bit of everything here today. A little bit of everything and a lot of nothing. Mostly Janine's judgments, but that's what we're gonna call this Janine's judgments.

SPEAKER_01 38:03

Oh, we should have a corner on every show, the JJ corner for Janine's judgments this kid. Okay. I don't want to be this way. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 38:15

I feel bad. Well, you should.

SPEAKER_01 38:18

We can't. Dump.

SPEAKER_02 38:20

Are both of those things true? You do and you don't.

SPEAKER_01 38:24

In this case, I genuinely don't.

SPEAKER_02 38:28

Anyway, thank you for sharing with us all of your judgments. Thank you for joining us on another episode of Brains Gonna Boost. Always. Um, you know, like, subscribe, share, comment, tell us your own pet peeves. Judge Jenny. It's okay. We know we'll be happy to have the conversation with you. We want the conversation for sure. Indeed, indeed. Thanks for joining us. Thank you. Come back next time. Bye bye. Bye.